Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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