Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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