I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
