I could make wine with my vomit
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize