I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
