i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
