either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
