Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
