You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
