i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
