I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
