could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
