with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
