We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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