OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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