Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
