And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
