I just made out with a guy for $7.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
