So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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