The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
