I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
