i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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