Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
