blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I believe in your delicious
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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