I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
wanna go halves on a baby?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
