You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
They took my balls.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
