i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
