end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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