He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
