my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
