My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
home. puking in laundry basket.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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