All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
