I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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