I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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