Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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