I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
