I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
