you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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