You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
