so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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