their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
