People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
