i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
