Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
