i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize