Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
