imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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