Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
