Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
