in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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