It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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