I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
