He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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