she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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