nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize