Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
