It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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