please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
