I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
