i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
So apparently I’m into choking now
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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