It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize