Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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