I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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