I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
