I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
