I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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