So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
