Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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