i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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