just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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