If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
bring money and cleavage
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize