I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
True strength comes from lack of pants
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize